February 24, 2006
Susie Bright's handiwork in Bound
Go to her blog for more!
[Thanks to Cinematical for the tip.]
February 7, 2006
BlueCine Rocks Riley Mason
February 1, 2006
Isadora Alman on Sex Education Videos
by Isadora Alman, M.A.
When you were a kid, if you wanted to know how to build a wooden bird house you watched some neighborhood handyman, maybe even your dad or grandpa, putter in his work shop. You asked questions about the various tools and maybe even tried to build something under his direct supervision. Later in life, when you wanted to learn how to ice skate or play tennis, you watched those more proficient, asked questions, and then tried on your own. When all did not go perfectly you asked for coaching from those who had mastered the art - or at least those who were further along in the learning curve. So what about when you decided to become sexually active, or better yet, a good lover?
Most of us, woman or man, received precious little practical advice on the matter from our parents, besides "Don't" or, at best, "Be careful." There were no experts around to watch in action. Friends knew no more than we did and what information they did share with us was likely to be wildly inaccurate. So some of us turned to film and video pornography.
There we saw that men were all hung like elephants, could keep it up and go at it for hours, and when they came, they pulled out of their partner and blasted off like Mt. St. Helens. Women all had breasts that resembled cantaloupes that pointed at the ceiling when they were on their back, moaned and gasped as if in excruciating pain, and smiled with delight when a guy ejaculated on their face.
How true is this picture compared to what you know of sex and how the human body works?
Porn may be a step up from teenage-shared misinformation and does offer some pointers on what fits where and how, but some of it also promotes hurtful and blatantly wrong stereotypes about men, women, and sex. Pornography made particularly for woman and by women isn't a whole lot more accurate. Fantasies about the hungry older woman and the eager young stud who delights in hours of romantic foreplay is no more true-to-life than the horny neighbor housewife or coed nympho. So what's a poor body to do when he or she wants to learn about one of life's greatest pleasures?
Enter Sinclair's Intimacy Institute (and a few other sex education video makers) to fill the gap (pun intended).
We can start with the basics: Satisfying Her and Satisfying Him. Even more basic, there are pre-intercourse teaching films demonstrating Erotic Dancing and Erotic Massage. And starting even before that there are titles showing techniques for both male and female masturbation to be used solo or with a willing partner.
Okay, you're ready for a naked romp. You can watch tapes on oral techniques by and for both men and women on men and women, sexual positions galore, anal sex in all possible combinations, even the how-tos of double penetration.
What if you're nervous about your performance? Most men and women are when they begin having sex with someone new. How about Becoming Orgasmic, for women alone [another is Tantric Journey to Female Orgasm] and/or their partners, or a Man's Guide To Stronger Erections or Lasting Longer.
You've heard about the famous G Spot and women who ejaculate [see also: Female Ejaculation for Couples] , and probably wonder if they exist? Well, there are several titles demonstrating quite clearly some who do, where and how.
Suppose you just can't identify with all those lithe, lovely bodies (usually athletic, thin, white and young). Do not despair. Those who produce these teaching tapes try to use a variety of people and body types. Although I've yet to see anyone fat, I think that's just as much a product of who is willing to be filmed having sex as the selection process of the video makers. There is a complete series featuring African-Americans - Sinclair's Better Sex for Black Couples, and its follow-up, Advanced Love Skills (With Toys and Fantasies) - and another series for those over 40.
Do you find all these too straight for your taste - in both senses of the word? There are videos for women - Sapphic Lovemaking Techniques; and for men - the Ultimate Guide to Gay Sex Techniques. Perhaps you're just curious about what other people do. Straight, gay, or bisexual, you may be surprised to find that people are people, bodies are bodies, and there are just so many ways that any of us exchange pleasure; it all looks very similar and very familiar. Perhaps that's the most important piece of information of all.
Ready to build bigger and better bird houses, so to speak, or to try the equivalent of a sexual triple axel? Beyond the many tapes on sexual positions and Sinclair's Better Sex Guide to Forbidden Pleasures (what the rest of us know as "kink"), some of the titles available are on sex toys, fantasies, bondage techniques for domination [see the Learning the Ropes series: Male Submissive 1 and 2, and Advanced Techniques], and various arrangements of threesomes and more. Although my personal choice for erotic night music is the sounds and sighs and squeaks of two passionate people in bed, some might prefer Sinclair's Better Sex Music Selection CD or other CDs specifically designed as backgrounds for sex. My personal favorites are rhythm and blues from the middle of last century with a beat that for me absolutely choreographs the rhythm of sex.
The sex ed titles I've mentioned here are the answer to some of the most frequent questions I hear about visual erotica. For those who want to introduce a partner to particular techniques or simply introduce him or her into the joys of visual erotica, here is the perfect tool.
And, yes, it's very common to become turned on while watching them. Who says education and entertainment can't go hand in hand? Seeing people have sex is sexy... and inspiring! And you'll be too busy to think about springing for a $5 bucket of popcorn to accompany their viewing.
ISADORA ALMAN is a California licensed relationship therapist, a Board certified sexologist, author of several books, and a syndicated sex and relationship columnist. Her Ask Isadora column has been running in alternative weekly papers worldwide for more than 20 years. Web surfers can find columns on her online free interactive Sexuality Forum. She conducts her private counseling practice in San Francisco.